My weakness is as below;

-> My weakness is  as follow.

I’m rather reserved.

-> I'd rather to be reserved.

For example, last year end party, it was held in dancing contest each by team.

-> For example, last year end party, it was a dance contest in each  team.

But I scared to dance in front of the crowd.

-> But I was afraid  to dance in front of the people.

 So when our team turned, I went to the toilet.

-> So, when it was our  turned, I went to the toilet.

Strong point I’ll get accustomed to new system and new environment because of my major and several experiences.

-> And my strong point is, I  can adapt to the new system and to the new environment because of my major and several experiences.

I am good at organizing and communicating with others.

-> I am good at organizing and communicating with others.

Most important thing in my life is relationship. I am also good at dealing with customer and clients.

-> Most important thing in my life is a relationship. I am also good in dealing with customers and clients.

For example, Samsung purchasing team & engineers are famous of very mean and picky. But I was good at persuading customers to my point of view.

->For example, Samsung purchasing team & engineers are famous on very mean and picky.  But I am good at persuading customers to my point of view.